::stupid/ugly/stupid/bitch/stupid/fat/
stupid/baby/stupid/loser/stupid/lost::
i think i weigh about 134. 'round there.when i weighed i had just eaten, and i hadn't taken laxatives in a few days, and... yeah. so i figure i'm there. i'm giving myself a week to get to 129 or lower. if i'm not there by then, well... what can you do but keep restricting and puking? i kind of want to stay self injury free, but i get so frustrated and i hit myself a lot. a razorblade snuck into my pocket. i don't like the sharper ones, i like 'em a little dull, but i'll make due with what i have.
i don't even really count calories anymore. i just kind of graze here and there, have a few bites. estimate it at the end of the day.
to lax or not to lax? i'll figure it out.
"in thirty minutes you'll forget how good that binge felt.
in two hours, you'll still be wishing you hadn't."
posted by jeckSTAR! at
10:36 AM
2 Comments:
We can be lax free and SI free TOGETHER! I know you can do it love. Stay strong! <3
Lax aren't worth it, babe. But I agree with you with the duller blade thing. It hurts more and takes longer to get as deep. Better when you want to hurt, not just bleed...
But that's pointless, too. Scars aren't pretty so behave yourself, boy. Ly. <3
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