death is honor, flesh is weak.

*The Basics*

Name:: Jeckster.

Sex:: male.

Birthday:: October 22

Age:: 18

Location:: Here and there.

Hair Color:: Dark brown.

Eye Color:: Brown.

*My Eating Disorder*

What Eating Disorders Do You Have:: Medically speaking, it's EDNOS. but purging type anorexia.

How Long Have You Had Them:: urgh. less than a year.

Why Do You Have An Eating Disorder:: It makes me feel strong, safe, and most of all, clean. And I need to get rid of all this, of course.

Are You Proud or Ashamed of Your Eating Disorder:: I don't think I'm either.

Do People Know About Your Eating Disorder:: Yes.

Do You Wish People Knew About it:: Noooooo

Do You Wish You Never Had An Eating Disorder:: Sometimes. Sometimes I want to eat like a normal person and not puke or feel panicked when i eat over 500... but then i see my thights.

Do You Think The Media is Partially Responsible For Your Eating Disorder:: This is completely internal.

*My Body*

Weight Before Eating Disorder:: 160 ew ew ew ew

Height: 5'8’’

Current Weight:: 135 or so.

Highest Weight:: 160.

Lowest Weight:: ... my cw.

Are You Tired A lot:: oh yes.

Have You Ever Fainted:: no.

Are You Cold All The Time:: chillier than i used to be, certainly.

Do Your Ribs Show:: yes, actually :D <3

Do Your Hipbones Show:: a little.

Does Your Collar Bone Show:: yes!! :D but not as much as i'd like

Can You See Your Ribs Through Your Back:: i dunno.

Do Your Thighs Touch:: yes. D;

Chest Size:: i choose not to disclose.

Does Your Head Look Too Big For Your Body:: maybe. o-o

Are You Satisfied With The Way You Look Now:: ha. hahahahahah. hahahaha.

If You Could, What Would You Change About Yourself:: the fatness, the curves. the femininity. the teeth.

What Is Your B.M.I.:: um, around 20.

What Do The Doctors Say is Your Ideal Weight:: my healthy weight is between 120 and 160. hahah.

What Do You Think Is Your Ideal Weight:: double digits.

*My Thinspirations*

Who Are Your Thinspirations:: cute little emo boys. girls with thinthinthin thighs. my girl sAm. :3

Who is Your Favorite Thinspiration:: this one picture i have saved, of a boy who MUST starve himself.

Who is Your Second Favorite Thinspiration:: william beckett. :P

Why Do You Envy Them:: skinny legs. skinny arms.

What's The Best Thing About Them:: they look happy, content, confident.

What's The Worst Thing About Them:: i don't know.

Would You Trade Places With Them If You Could:: nnnnnmaybe.

*My Mind*

Do You Consider Your Eating Disorder a 'Disorder':: in the medical sense, sure. but it feels right to me.

Are You Pro-Ana/Pro-Mia:: yes, if we're going by my definition of it.

Would You Ever Want Your Best Friend To Have An Eating Disorder:: my best friend is sAm, and she has one. i'm very conflicted about it. i love having someone so close that understands, but she's way too beautiful inside and out to hurt this much, to hate her body so. i just want her to be safe.

What Are Your Disordered Eating Habits:: calorie counting and restricting, i cut meat out of my diet, self-induced vomiting, impulsive over-exercising, laxative abuse, chewing and spitting, sabotaging food or throwing it away.

Are You Obsessive Compulsive:: about some thing, yes.

Are You A Perfectionist:: about my writing, yes.

Do You Have Depression:: yes.

Are You A Cutter:: not as much as i used to be.

Have You Ever Been Suicidal:: yes.

Have You Ever Attempted Suicide:: i got close, but no.

Have You Ever Been Hospitalized For Mental Reasons:: yes, twice.

Have You Ever Been Hospitalized For Your Eating Disorder:: noooo.

Do You Have Body Dismorphic Disorder:: yep. diagnosis and everything.

*Your Life Outside Your Disorder*

Favorite Color:: blue.

Favorite Movie:: girl, interrupted. thirteen.

Favorite Book:: wintergirls or wasted. haha.

Favorite T.V. Show:: intervention, what's eating you?, face off, true life.

Favorite Season:: anything but winter.

Favorite Day of The Week:: doesn't matter.

Favorite Time Of Day::. ha. doesn't matter.

Favorite Holiday:: holidays = food and candy. blegh.

Favorite Hobby:: hiding.

Favorite Actor:: simon pegg, michael c. hall.

Favorite Actress:: edie falco.

Favorite Musician:: anyone from avenged sevenfold.

Do You Have Any Pets:: my boyfriend. :P no, i don't.

What Do You Like To Do In Your Spare Time:: read, sleep, watch TV.

*The Future*

What Do You Want To Study In College:: creative writing, english in general.

What Career Do You Want:: god, i don't know...

Do You Ever Want To Get Married:: yes. but i fear that this eating disorder might really complicate things.

Do You Ever Want Kids:: oh, yes. <3

Where Do You Want To Live:: in a big commune, with my friends and family and happiness and parties every night.

Will You Have Any Pets:: probably.

What Type of House Do You Want:: four walls and a bed? i dunno.

What Goals Do You Have That Are Unrelated To Your Eating Disorder:: publish a book.

What's Your Number One Priority:: GET THIN.

How Do You Think You Will Die:: heart attack / broken hip / ruptured esophagus.

When Do You Think You WIll Die:: i dunno.

Will You Be Missed By Anyone:: i like to think so.

Will You Have Any Regrets:: nah.

Will You Have Any Unfinished Business:: maybe.

Will Your eating disorder still be affecting you:: yes.