death is honor, flesh is weak.
*The Basics*
Name:: Jeckster.
Sex:: male.
Birthday:: October 22
Age:: 18
Location:: Here and there.
Hair Color:: Dark brown.
Eye Color:: Brown.
*My Eating Disorder*
What Eating Disorders Do You Have:: Medically speaking, it's EDNOS. but purging type anorexia.
How Long Have You Had Them:: urgh. less than a year.
Why Do You Have An Eating Disorder:: It makes me feel strong, safe, and most of all, clean. And I need to get rid of all this, of course.
Are You Proud or Ashamed of Your Eating Disorder:: I don't think I'm either.
Do People Know About Your Eating Disorder:: Yes.
Do You Wish People Knew About it:: Noooooo
Do You Wish You Never Had An Eating Disorder:: Sometimes. Sometimes I want to eat like a normal person and not puke or feel panicked when i eat over 500... but then i see my thights.
Do You Think The Media is Partially Responsible For Your Eating Disorder:: This is completely internal.
*My Body*
Weight Before Eating Disorder:: 160 ew ew ew ew
Height: 5'8’’
Current Weight:: 135 or so.
Highest Weight:: 160.
Lowest Weight:: ... my cw.
Are You Tired A lot:: oh yes.
Have You Ever Fainted:: no.
Are You Cold All The Time:: chillier than i used to be, certainly.
Do Your Ribs Show:: yes, actually :D <3
Do Your Hipbones Show:: a little.
Does Your Collar Bone Show:: yes!! :D but not as much as i'd like
Can You See Your Ribs Through Your Back:: i dunno.
Do Your Thighs Touch:: yes. D;
Chest Size:: i choose not to disclose.
Does Your Head Look Too Big For Your Body:: maybe. o-o
Are You Satisfied With The Way You Look Now:: ha. hahahahahah. hahahaha.
If You Could, What Would You Change About Yourself:: the fatness, the curves. the femininity. the teeth.
What Is Your B.M.I.:: um, around 20.
What Do The Doctors Say is Your Ideal Weight:: my healthy weight is between 120 and 160. hahah.
What Do You Think Is Your Ideal Weight:: double digits.
*My Thinspirations*
Who Are Your Thinspirations:: cute little emo boys. girls with thinthinthin thighs. my girl sAm. :3
Who is Your Favorite Thinspiration:: this one picture i have saved, of a boy who MUST starve himself.
Who is Your Second Favorite Thinspiration:: william beckett. :P
Why Do You Envy Them:: skinny legs. skinny arms.
What's The Best Thing About Them:: they look happy, content, confident.
What's The Worst Thing About Them:: i don't know.
Would You Trade Places With Them If You Could:: nnnnnmaybe.
*My Mind*
Do You Consider Your Eating Disorder a 'Disorder':: in the medical sense, sure. but it feels right to me.
Are You Pro-Ana/Pro-Mia:: yes, if we're going by my definition of it.
Would You Ever Want Your Best Friend To Have An Eating Disorder:: my best friend is sAm, and she has one. i'm very conflicted about it. i love having someone so close that understands, but she's way too beautiful inside and out to hurt this much, to hate her body so. i just want her to be safe.
What Are Your Disordered Eating Habits:: calorie counting and restricting, i cut meat out of my diet, self-induced vomiting, impulsive over-exercising, laxative abuse, chewing and spitting, sabotaging food or throwing it away.
Are You Obsessive Compulsive:: about some thing, yes.
Are You A Perfectionist:: about my writing, yes.
Do You Have Depression:: yes.
Are You A Cutter:: not as much as i used to be.
Have You Ever Been Suicidal:: yes.
Have You Ever Attempted Suicide:: i got close, but no.
Have You Ever Been Hospitalized For Mental Reasons:: yes, twice.
Have You Ever Been Hospitalized For Your Eating Disorder:: noooo.
Do You Have Body Dismorphic Disorder:: yep. diagnosis and everything.
*Your Life Outside Your Disorder*
Favorite Color:: blue.
Favorite Movie:: girl, interrupted. thirteen.
Favorite Book:: wintergirls or wasted. haha.
Favorite T.V. Show:: intervention, what's eating you?, face off, true life.
Favorite Season:: anything but winter.
Favorite Day of The Week:: doesn't matter.
Favorite Time Of Day::. ha. doesn't matter.
Favorite Holiday:: holidays = food and candy. blegh.
Favorite Hobby:: hiding.
Favorite Actor:: simon pegg, michael c. hall.
Favorite Actress:: edie falco.
Favorite Musician:: anyone from avenged sevenfold.
Do You Have Any Pets:: my boyfriend. :P no, i don't.
What Do You Like To Do In Your Spare Time:: read, sleep, watch TV.
*The Future*
What Do You Want To Study In College:: creative writing, english in general.
What Career Do You Want:: god, i don't know...
Do You Ever Want To Get Married:: yes. but i fear that this eating disorder might really complicate things.
Do You Ever Want Kids:: oh, yes. <3
Where Do You Want To Live:: in a big commune, with my friends and family and happiness and parties every night.
Will You Have Any Pets:: probably.
What Type of House Do You Want:: four walls and a bed? i dunno.
What Goals Do You Have That Are Unrelated To Your Eating Disorder:: publish a book.
What's Your Number One Priority:: GET THIN.
How Do You Think You Will Die:: heart attack / broken hip / ruptured esophagus.
When Do You Think You WIll Die:: i dunno.
Will You Be Missed By Anyone:: i like to think so.
Will You Have Any Regrets:: nah.
Will You Have Any Unfinished Business:: maybe.
Will Your eating disorder still be affecting you:: yes.
posted by jeckSTAR! at
2:13 AM
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